When you walk in the bar,
And you dressed like a star,
Rockin' your F me pumps.
And the men notice you,
With your Gucci bag crew,
Can't tell who he's lookin' to.
Cuz you all look the same,
Everyone knows your name,
And that's you whole claim to fame.
Never miss a night,
Cuz your dream in life,
Is to be a footballers wife.
You don't like players,
That's what you say-a,
But you really wouldn't mind a millionaire.
You don't like ballers,
They don't do nothing for ya,
But you'd love a rich man six foot two or taller.
-Amy Winehouse 'Fuck Me Pumps'
-Amy Winehouse 'Fuck Me Pumps'
Barmy - If someone tells you that you are barmy, it means you have gone mad or crazy.
Bender – a pub crawl or a heavy drinking session.
Bleeding - An alternative to the word bloody.
Blimey - Another exclamation of surprise.
Bloody - One of the most useful swear words in English. Mostly used as an exclamation of surprise i.e. "bloody hell".
Drop a clanger – to make a gaffe.
Fancy - If you fancy something then it means you desire it.
Fanny around - means to procrastinate.
Fusty - smelling stale, damp, moldy or stuffy
Gallivanting - means fooling around or horseplay.
Gander - means to look around
Pissed - Getting pissed means getting drunk. It does not mean getting angry. That would be getting pissed off.
RB Ch 1 Polyvore:
Chapter 1 – First Impressions
“Isabella Marie Swan, if you do not hurry we will miss happy hour. We both know that if you do not get to Twilight early on Friday all the sexy guys will be taken by all the drunken sluts from sorority row. We all remember what happened last week.” Rose said with a laugh as she walked into my bedroom, crossing her arms as she leaned on my door.
“If I remember correctly, you used to be one of those drunken sluts…” I yelled from inside my disaster of a closet. “Is Jake still meeting us there?” I asked limping out of my closet with one knee high black leather boot on and the other in hand. I stopped in my tracks as I took in Rose's statuesque form standing there in a one-strap dress, with an extremely flattering diagonal drape at the opposite hip along with a double sash detail. Her long wavy brown hair pulled up into a ponytail and her make-up was perfect as usual. Although we have been friends for over 2 years, it's often hard not to be envious of how naturally beautiful Rose truly is. I zipped up my boots and stood up walking over to my mirror for one last look at myself before I went out with the brunette goddess.
“Do you even have to ask? You have that boy so whipped it's sad, I can't believe you've never had sex with him.” She said walking up behind me to double check her flawlessness in the mirror, ignoring my first statement. “I mean really he's pretty fucking hot, I don't know what you're waiting for. Luckily for you he's not really my type, or I might have…”
“Well we don't want to be too fashionably late, let's go.” I said pushing her out of my room and towards the front door. Rose headed to the elevator as I locked the door. I heard my phone chime as I stepped into the elevator and hit the button for the lobby. Pulling my phone out of my clutch, I couldn't help but smile at the text that was waiting for me.
B, running a little late but I’ll definitely
see you there. I have a surprise for you.
Maybe Rose was right, I mean it's not like Jake and I weren't friends before we started dating. We'd known each other for nine months before he finally asked me on our first date four months ago. He's the perfect gentleman, treats me like a queen, and has never once pressured me for sex. I rewarded his patience with several blowjobs over the past few weeks followed by him going down on me, so why do I still feel like I am not ready for sex? Before I could ponder that, any longer, the elevator doors opened and Rose had walked out into the lobby. I typed a quick message back to Jake and walked arm and arm out to Rose's bright red sports car.
Twilight was the most popular club at UW and I am sure that had more to do with their lax ID checking at the bar. We managed to find two empty bar stools at the bar, and before we could even sit down this guy was offering to buy us a round of shots. He was handsome for the most part, tall and well built with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes, definitely Rose's type. Three tequila shots later and he had pulled her out to the dance floor.
I was sitting at the bar nursing my second sex on the beach while watching Rose who was now sandwiched between two guys dancing when I noticed Jacob had arrived. I smiled at him as he walked over to the bar pulling me into a warm embrace, leaning down to kiss me on the cheek. He released me and turned to order a beer from the bartender, I don't know if it was strictly the liquor or if my lack of sex had finally caught up to me but at that moment I wanted to feel Jake's body flushed up against mine. After he took a swig of his beer, I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned up to kiss him on the lips. It wasn't long before our tongues were massaging each other's and his hands were rubbed from my lower back down to my ass. He cupped my ass in his large hands and pulled me deeper into the kiss. My hands moved up his neck and started running threw his short jet black perfectly coiffed hair. I pulled away from him taking in his sent as I laid my head on his massive chest wrapping my arms around his waist, there was something about the way he smelled it was manly and like the outdoors.
“Well what did I do to deserve that welcome?” Jake asked kissing me on the top of my head. I looked up into his chocolate brown eyes and at that moment knew that today would end my dry spell and Jacob Black would finally be getting some.
“What can I say; I was really happy to see you.” I said giving him a devilish smile as he leaned down to give me another kiss.
“Ugh, why don't you two get a room already?” Rose said as she walked up holding hands with one-half of her man sandwich. “Bella, Jake this is Peter, Peter this is my roommate Bella and her… well her… oh hell he's her boyfriend.” Rose said looking between Jake and me before reaching for her drink off the bar behind me. I looked from the officially tipsy Rose back to Jake who was looking at me questioningly. We had never talked about putting a label on what we were, but it was understood we were more than just friends. Maybe tonight would be the night that I showed him that that's what I might actually want. I downed the rest of my drink and leaned up to whisper in Jake's ear that I wanted him to take me back to his place.
I grabbed my clutch off the counter and started guiding Jake towards the front door of the club; the cool summer air hit me and slowly tried to pull me out of my liquor-fueled haze… I managed to make it all the way to Jake's Red Volkswagen Tiguan before my legs started to wobble. Jake unlocked the doors and helped me into the passenger seat before walking around to the driver's side, starting the car up, and pulling out of the parking space.
I must have fallen into a deep sleep during the 15-minute drive back to our building because, the next thing I knew Jacob was carrying me through the garage and was waiting for the elevator. I couldn't stop staring at this 6'4” man holding me in his arms like I was weightless. I reached a hand up and rubbed my fingers along his jaw letting my thumb trace his bottom lip before planting a kiss on them as we walked onto the elevator.
By the time we reached the 14th floor, we couldn't take our hands off of each other. I couldn't wait to be inside of his apartment and feel his strong hands all over my body. Jacob set me down long enough for him to unlock his door, but as soon as we crossed the threshold, it was go time. I had unzipped my boots in the hall so I pulled them off without losing contact with his mouth. Without the shoes, my 5'4” frame looked dwarfed next to his, we made our way to his bedroom while causing only minimal damage.
I watched as Jake pulled off his polo exposing his defined muscles in only a black wife beater. I couldn't help but bite on my bottom lip as I slowly sauntered over to him as he was pulling off the wife beater and ghosted my hands along his well defined six pack. Looking up at him through my lashes I slowly undid his belt while he slowly unzipped the dress I was wearing letting it fall to the floor. I pushed his jeans down his calves letting a slight giggle slip out as he wiggled them down to his ankles before stepping out of them. I wrapped my arms back around his neck to pull him down to kiss me; instead, he picked me up cradling my ass in his large hands as I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our tongues couldn't get enough of each other as he carried me over to his massive California king bed, laying me down on my back with him in between my legs and his erection pressing against my stomach only inches from the spot that was practically over flowing with excitement. I leaned up to unhook my bra, but he beat me to it undoing it with one hand, I was slightly impressed. I pulled his black boxer-briefs down releasing his very hard penis, I wrapped my hand around it stroking it a few times as the tip started to produce pre-cum. I rubbed the cum along the head with my thumb before leaning in and taking as much of it as I could in my mouth.
I was getting impatient while waiting to meet with the travel agent. The trip I was planning for Bella would be the first time either of us would have left the country not to mention our first trip as a pseudo couple. I was secretly hoping that this trip would be the perfect way of telling Bella that I wanted to be more than just her friend. I was so deep in thought that I didn't notice the customer before me leaving. I was supposed to be meeting Bella and Rose at Twilight around nine, it was already 7:45, and I still needed to get ready. I pulled out my blackberry and sent Bella a quick text letting her know I was going to be late but I had a surprise for her. I was walking into the travel agent‟s office when I got a text back from Bella.
A surprise really? Any hints?
Don’t worry I am just leaving,
I’ll save you a dance ;) –B
I filled out the remaining paper work for the flights and hotel, extremely happy I saved enough money for two non-refundable roundtrip tickets to Montego Bay, Jamaica and a JR honeymoon suite at an all-inclusive hotel. We would be leaving in a week for a two-week getaway to just relax and “Hopefully” have a lot of island sex.
It was around 8:30 when I finally left the travel agents rushing home to take a quick shower to wash the grease from working in the garage all day off, ready to give my Bella her surprise getaway. I got out of the shower dried off, threw on my favorite yellow polo, and faded dark blue jeans and white air force ones. I was on my way to look in the mirror one last time before leaving to meet Bella and Rose when I heard my phone beep with a text message.
I walked over to my nightstand where my phone was charging and smiled in anticipation of the flirty text from Bella. Sadly, the text wasn't from Bella but a number I didn't recognize however the 360 area code was definitely familiar.
Jake I am sorry please forgive me.
I never meant to cheat on you,
PLEASE take me back, Charlotte.
I was in total shock, how did Charlotte get my new phone number? Charlotte and I had a painless break up six months ago, when I went home for Christmas. We both knew that a long distance relationship was going to be hard, but we both said we'd try to keep the spark in our relationship by any means necessary. So imagine my surprise when I drove 3 hours and 163 miles from Tacoma to Forks to surprise her on Christmas Eve and found her at her house making out with some douche lord in the backseat of his car. I didn't bother sticking around for an explanation I just hopped back in Tiguan and came back to school.
It wasn't until after New Year's that I decided to finally check my now full voicemail. The messages ranged from panicked and emotional the night I saw her to calm and accepting in the last one from the 31st. I decided to call her back to have what I assumed would be our last conversation.
“Jake I am so happy you've finally decided to call me back.” Charlotte said as she took shallow breaths trying to contain her excitement.
“Well I figured it was time we just got this conversation over with, it's a new year and I am ready to start fresh.” I said wishing I had, sent her an email instead, but knowing this was the right way to handle this situation. “Look, I know we tried to keep this relationship going, and…“No, I am not letting you give up on us Jacob. I know I messed up and never should have gone out with Felix, but I was lonely and he was here.” Charlotte rushed out cutting me off.
“That's supposed to fucking make this better, Char? You were lonely. Really?! Like I don't get lonely sometimes with you all the way back in fucking Forks, I live across the hall from two fucking hot women and I have never even thought about stepping out on you.” I yelled officially annoyed with were this conversation was going. “I think we should just do what we should have done months ago when you went back. Thinking that we could make this long distance thing work was just stupid and I'd rather us attempt to be friendly than continue down the road we're going and end up hating each other.” I said shakily trying to contain my anger.
That was the last time I actually spoke to Charlotte on the phone. For two months after the breakup, she would send me several messages a day asking to get back together, so 1 day in February I decided to change my number and move on completely. I asked Bella out right after Valentine's day and we've been dating ever since. I deleted the message sliding my phone into my pocket and left to meet Bella.
I arrived at the club and spotted Bella instantly sitting alone at the bar smiling as she looked out towards the dance floor. I followed her gaze and saw Rose being typical Rose sandwiched between two guys grinding all over each other. I turned my gaze back to Bella and was met with the sexiest chocolate brown eyes, her usually wavy brown hair appeared to be straightened, and swayed slowly as she nodded her head with the music. The blue sleeveless printed dress was showing off her curves perfectly. I walked over to her and pulled her into an embrace and gave her a kiss on the cheek, before ordering a Corona and lime from the bartender and taking a swig. The next thing I know Bella has her arms wrapped around my neck, her lips were pressed against mine, and I could feel her tongue roaming around my mouth searching for mine. I moved my hands down her lower back and started squeezing her tight little ass in my hands. She slowly
pulled away from my mouth, biting down on her bottom lip as she hugged around my waist. I could have sworn I heard her sniffing me.
“Well, what did I do to deserve that welcome?” I asked not wanting to jinx the mood Bella was in because it could mean that I would be ending my six-month dry spell. I mean blowjobs are nice, and tasting Bella's pussy was definitely amazing but I desperately wanted to be inside of her.
I was so caught up in my thought about Bella's pussy that I didn't notice Rose and her newest victim arrive. She introduced me to him as Bella's boyfriend and I was in shock because up until this point I wasn't sure how Bella might feel about putting a label on it. However, the look on her face made me believe she wouldn't hate the idea.
I had just taken another swig of my beer when Bella whispered in my ear that she wanted me to take her back to my place. I put the beer down on the counter and left the bartender a $20 bill, if I was getting lucky tonight he deserved a $15 tip for serving Bella whatever the hell she was drinking.
Bella grabbed me by the hand and slowly sauntered over to the front door. It wasn't until we were outside and fresh air hit Bella that I could tell that she was definitely a little tipsy. She swayed a few times on the way to my Tiguan and I was half-surprised she made it without falling as clumsy as Bella is.
I unlocked and opened her door for her, helping her into the passenger seat before pulling out of the parking spot. Before we even made it to our first traffic light Bella had fallen asleep, she was so cute when she was asleep, she definitely looked like a little angel. I was pulling into our parking garage when I could have sworn I heard Bella say my name. I looked over at her but she was still asleep, is it possible that Bella was dreaming about me?
I backed into my space, shut off the engine and walked around the car to get the still sleeping Bella. I couldn't tell if she was just tired or if she had one too many drinks at Twilight but I was going to do the gentlemanly thing and take her to her place and let her sleep it off either way. I picked up her extremely light body and locked the doors, walking over to the elevator.
I hadn't noticed that Bella was awake but as I was standing waiting for the elevator her hand came up and her fingers started rubbing along my jaw and bottom lip. The elevator doors slid open as her lips met mine; I walked inside and pressed 14 without moving my lips from hers. I flipped Bella around so that her legs were now cradling me, leaned her up against the mirrored elevator wall and kissed her deeper. I couldn't keep my hands off her, by the time we made it to the 14th floor we were panting heavily and I was surprised I managed to remove my hands long enough to unlock my door.
I locked the door and turned around to see Bella standing barefoot on my hardwood floors with a
look on her face that was a combination of shy yet frisky. She was biting on her bottom lip as she looked up at me through her eye lashes. Her short frame looking dwarfed compared to mine. It only took a matter of seconds before our bodies where touching again. I heard what sounded like a lamp falling over as we made our way to my bedroom for what I could only hope would be the most orgasmic night I've had in a long time.
We entered the room, which was being dimly illuminated, from the moon shining through the window. I pulled my lips away from Bella's to catch my breath, slowly pulling my shirt over my head leaving me in nothing but my wife beater. The look on Bella's face as she was biting her bottom lip again said everything I wanted it to say, she wanted me as bad as I wanted her. She did her little vixen walk over to me as I was pulling the wife beater off and her hands hovered lightly over my six-pack. I looked down into her brown eyes and she undid my belt, and I unzipped the side of her dress pulling it off her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor with a slight swoosh sound as it hit the floor. She pushed my jeans down my calves and I wiggled my hips a little to help them fall to the ground. Clearly she enjoyed this act because she let out a slight giggle in between pants. I stepped out of my pants as she wrapped her arms around my neck and I cupped her ass pulling her legs around my waist.
I could already feel the wetness through her panties and my cock couldn't wait to finally feel what the inside of her sweet pussy felt like. It started to twitch uncontrollably at the contact, but I don't think Bella noticed as she kissed me deeply her tongue roaming all over my mouth. I carried Bella over to my bed laying her gently down on her back as I hovered over top of her, my fully erect penis begging to be released from its cage as it rubbed against Bella's stomach so close to where it really wanted to be rubbing.
Bella leaned forward slightly and I unclasped her bra with one hand, hoping she didn't take that as a sign that I was some sort of manwhore, and at the same time she pulled my boxer-briefs own finally releasing my cock. Which she gave a quick stroke playing with the pre-cum with her thumb before it was surrounded by the warm wetness of her mouth.
The feeling of my cock inside of Bella's mouth was definitely one I could and hopefully would, get used to on a more permanent basis. Her mouth made it half way down my shaft before my head could feel the back of her throat. I could feel her tongue slowly licking the underside of my shaft as she made her way back to the tip where she started, planting slow kisses before blowing on it slightly causing my dick to twitch with anticipation of getting back inside of her. She started doing slow and deliberate strokes as she kissed her way down my shaft, kissing and blowing to the point I thought I was going to erupt right on the side of her face.
“Fuck, Bella! You're gonna make me cum early doing stuff like that.” She gave me a devilish smile as she looked up at me. “What's wrong with that? Looks like you'd be ready to go again before I could lick it all up.” She said grinning up at me running her tongue along her bottom lip. I pushed her back on the bed, bent down, and started placing kisses along her inner thigh her soft moans where bringing out my inner animal and I had to have it. I pulled her panties slowly down; she lifted her hips slightly so I could get them down to her knees.
This wasn't the first time I've come face to face with her pussy and every time it looked better than the last. I started planting slow sensual kisses up her thigh again making my way to her pussy, which I could swear was calling my name. Bella's moaning intensified the closure to her sweet spot I got. I couldn't take it anymore I had to taste her.
~*~ Bella Swan ~*~
“Fuck Me, I can't take it anymore Jake.” I practically moaned unable to hold it in any longer. “Oh you like that huh? What about this…” he said slowly licking and kissing from my belly button down to my kitty and the sensation was driving me mad. The feeling of the tip of Jake's tongue playing with my clit was making things worse, but in a good way. I could feel the orgasm building inside of me and I wanted, no I needed him inside of me now. I felt Jake's lips press against my lips as he started licking and sucking up my wetness. “Oh God Jake, please stop teasing me, I'm ready for you to park that cock of yours in my penis garage.” I said in between moans “Oh trust me Bella; I am ready to plow right in there.” He panted giving me one last flick of the tongue.
The momentary loss of Jake's tongue in my pussy was devastating. However, once I felt his fingers sliding up through my lips and inching closure to my entryway I knew it would be ok. He slipped three fingers gentle inside of me getting them nice and wet before pulling them back out. I pulled myself up on my elbows to figure out what the hell was going on when I saw Jake reaching into his nightstand to pull out a condom. I bit my bottom lip with anticipations and lay back down.
“I‟ve been waiting a long time for us to do this, and I am going to fuck your brains out Bella.” Jake said as I slid to the center of the bed and he started to climb on top of me. “You have no idea how bad I want this right now.” I moaned as Jake started planting kisses on my flushed skin from my belly button to my breast as he made his way back up my body, stopping to pull my nipples into his mouth flicking his tongue around my nipple then sucking on it as it hardened. He switched breast sucking on my other nipple as it hardened before he started kissing his way up to my neck. He planted a soft kiss on my collarbone before his mouth met mine and the head of his swollen cock was rubbing up against my entrance.
“Oh God, yes!” I moaned as his head finally slipped in and I could feel him going deep inside of me. “Fuck Bella, you‟re so fucking tight.” He said as he pulled my right leg up into a ninety degree angle so he could push in deeper. With every thrust of his hips, I felt my orgasm growing
closer. He dropped his body onto mine and his tongue was once again massaging mine, I pulled my other leg up so I could wrap them both around his body pulling him even deeper inside of me. Jake pulled my hands above my head and started kissing and sucking along my neck pounding into me faster, deeper and harder. The fucking sensations of our joint thrusting was sending pleasure throughout my entire body. I couldn't hold it in any longer. “Oh…Oh…Yes, harder.” I moaned as my nails dug into his back, I knew that I was practically on the verge of coming. I closed my eyes and bit down on my bottom lip trying to hold back the orgasm a little longer, and then Jake in one swift movement flipped both of us over so that I was riding on top of him. This change in position was the straw that broke my orgasms' back. “Holy shit, fuck Jake!” I yelled as I felt the walls of my pussy constricting around his penis. I leaned in and kissed him as we rode out the end of my orgasm. My hair was fanning around us like a curtain as I continued to grind against him; it didn't take much longer for Jake to finally reach his climax wrapping his massive arms around my back giving me a tender kiss on the lips as he just held me. We just laid there in silence basking in our post sex glow, and although I felt completely at ease, being with Jake like this I still didn't feel completely satisfied.
“Bella you were fucking amazing.” Jake said as he gave me one last kiss before releasing me; I pulled myself up still straddling him as his still slightly hard penis was still inside of me. I slowly lifted myself off him smiling as his penis fell to his stomach and I turned around to find my underclothes.
“You know Bella if you spend the night, not only can we do this again, but I can make you a mean omelet in the morning.” Jake said sliding off the bed walking into his bathroom to dispose of the used condom. I slipped on my panties and had just clasped and adjusted my bra when a still naked Jake walked out of the bathroom smiling, looking me up and down. “I'd love an omelet.” I said biting down on my lip trying to hold back a smile as I took in the extremely sexy muscular form in front of me.
“Well lucky for you I have a two for one special going this weekend. Stay for breakfast and you get complimentary morning sex.” Jake said pulling me into an embrace and kissing along my jaw, down my neck before sucking slightly on my collarbone. We just stood there for a moment wrapped in each other's arms kissing before releasing each other. I couldn't deny that there was a slight spark between Jake and I that had been growing over the past few months. Rose said we were more like a flashlight with dying batteries; there is a spark still in the bulb it's just not shining brightly. I know things were a little rough with Jake after his break up with Charlotte, maybe that's why our connection isn't full yet.
Jake walked over to his dresser and pulled out one of his old high school football jerseys for me to sleep in. I pulled it on kissing Jake on the cheek before we climbed into his massive bed. After Jake pulled me into his chest wrapping his arms around me, before I knew it I had fallen into a deep sleep.
I woke up the next morning to the sun shining directly in my face, and an empty bed. If it wasn't for the fact that I was still in Jake's apartment I would have been looking for money on the nightstand. I sat up and stretched as I climbed out of the bed and picked my discarded dress up off the floor. The closer I walked towards the cracked bedroom door the more I smelled the most
delightful smell, he had actually made me breakfast. I pulled the jersey off and tossed it in the hamper before pulling my dress back over my head. I ran into the bathroom and gargled some mouthwash before making my way down the hall to the kitchen.
Jake was standing in front of his stove in nothing but grey lounge pants, and watching his back muscles move as he made me breakfast, reminded me of the seemingly beautiful night we spent together. “Morning” I said sitting down at the breakfast bar, noticing two plane tickets sitting on the bar in front of me. “Morning beautiful, how did you sleep?” He asked sliding the omelet onto a plate, grabbing the clean fork and napkin off the counter and placing them in front of me. “I actually slept pretty well, well except for this weird dream I had.” I said looking from the tickets to Jake, who followed my gaze and eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw what I was looking at.
“Well since you've already seen them it kind of takes away from the surprise, but…” he said sitting his omelet down on the bar and grabbing the plane tickets. “Well first, after last night I was wondering if you'd want to see each other exclusively? And, I was also wondering how you would feel about spending two weeks with me in Jamaica later this month.” He said with the biggest smile on his face and a little spark in his eyes. “Oh, Jake wow, I can't believe…wow.” I said as I stared at him in complete shock trying to process what he was saying to me, and the smile slowly fell from his face. “I'd love to go with you to Jamaica and I kind of assumed we were already seeing each other exclusively.” I said quickly, smiling brightly at him hoping I didn‟t completely ruin this moment. He walked around the bar and hugged me before he sat down and we started discussing our first trip together as a couple and my first trip out of the country.
“Oh, by the way, I'm getting married!" I said getting into the back of the waiting town car. "What, to who?" Alice and Emmett asked simultaneously as I closed the door. "I don't know..." I responded as we pulled away from the Palace. “Although, I am sure we know who‟s at the top of
Aro's list.” I said pulling a fag out of the pack and lighting up.
“Get out, you can‟t mean that barmy Tanya, if she joins this family I am leaving it.” Emmett said reaching into his inside pocket of his blazer. “I am pretty sure you need this more than you need that right now bro.” He said pulling out a freshly rolled joint. I looked from my fag to the joint before deciding to put the fag out in the ashtray and reaching for the joint. After the day I had going on a bender was mandatory at this point.
“Oh, Edward you can't marry her, I mean yes she's positively ghastly, but she's just not who you're suppose to marry.” Alice said smiling at me as if she knew something, I didn't know.
“I am not mad Alice; I am aware that I shouldn‟t marry her. Can you image if she was to become the Queen. The closest she should get to some crown jewels are the ones in my pants.” I said lighting the joint and taking a drag, letting the smoke fill my lungs.
“Better yours than mine; word around town is that her pussy is fusty.” Emmett said laughing reaching for the joint. “Besides, who‟d want that slut to run anything but a brothel?”
“Emmett really, slut is such a strong word, I prefer to think she's just curious for the cock” said Alice as she punched Emmett in the arm. “Besides, I never see Edward objecting to sticking his cock in that fusty vagina.” She said giving me a disapproving glance before turning to look out her window.
“Ugh, can we talk about something or someone other than Tanya? I mean we're supposed to be
going out for a fuckin good time let's not let her ruin it yeah?” I glanced out the window for a moment watching the normal people going about their evenings without a care in the world.
“Where exactly are we going anyway?” I said turning back to my brother and sister who both looked away from my questioning glance.
“Edward has anyone ever told you; you ask too many questions? Just enjoy the ride.” Alice said with a sigh grabbing the joint from Emmett and putting it out in the ashtray.
It was clear that my bad mood was rubbing off on Em and Alice, but if people were suggesting you marry the biggest whore in the UK would you do it? Not in bleeding hell, don‟t lie.
Nevertheless, I probably should stop being an ass and just enjoy spending time with them. But, this is just bollocks; I can't believe I have until my twenty-fifth birthday to get married. Yes that gives me two years and one week, but damn. When I become King, I am going to change that stupid law once and for all.
We had just turned onto Trafalgar Square passing Thai Square when Alice finally turned around to look at me, pulling something out of her purse. “Edward I almost forgot, you have to put this on before we arrive, would hate for the surprise to be ruined.” She said handing me a blindfold. “Oh for Christ sake Alice, where are you taking me?” I said grabbing the blindfold out of her hands and pulling it over my eyes.
“If I tell you where we're going, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it? Just relax, Em, Jasper and I worked really hard setting this up for you and I know you'll love it.” Alice said excitedly. “Not to mention, there will be plenty of pussy there to keep your mind off of Tanya and her fusty one.” Emmett said followed by a loud smack which I could only be sure was Alice's doing. “Emmett Dale McCarty Cullen don‟t you dare say another word.”
“Blimey Alice, for someone so small you pack a mean punch.” Emmett said trying to hold in a chuckle.
The rest of the car ride went by smoothly or at least I assume it did since I had no idea what was going on around me. I briefly heard Alice and Emmett whispering to each other and as well as frantic typing on a phone, followed by a loud sigh.
“Em, Alice is everything ok?” I asked turning in their general direction.
“Uh well yeah just a little hiccup with a minor detail, nothing to worry your messy head about.” Alice said trying to sound reassuring before I heard her phone start to ring.
“Hey love, yeah Emmett and I got it and I can't believe she… well I can't talk but we're pulling up now so I'll see you in a minute. I love you too Jasper.” Alice said as the car came to a stop. I heard a door open and then felt Alice and Emmett sliding out of the backseat leaving me alone. My door opened and a hand slowly pulled me out of the car.
“Have a pleasant evening your Royal Highnesses; call me when you're ready to leave.” Laurent said closing the door behind me.
“Thanks Laurent, but I think we'll be ok. Why don't you take the rest of the night off.” Alice said grabbing my hand pulling me behind her.
“Oh yeah Laurent, remember this is a secret, no one can know we're here.” Emmett said from behind Alice and me. “We'd hate for the paps to figure out we're here.”
“Yes your highness, have a good evening.” I heard the engine start back up and the sound of the car fade away into the distance.
“Ok really, where the hell are we going?” I asked officially annoyed with this secret shit. “You're the future king big brother, that means you aren't in charge yet, relax.” Emmett said patting me on the shoulder.
I ran my hands through my hair trying to lay it down some just in case, knowing that I was only making it worse. Alice led me off the street and into a building; I heard what I assume was the lift arriving before being ushered inside. Emmett started humming and tapping his foot to the bloody song being played on my left, and I could feel Alice swaying on my right.
“You two have gone mad.” I said as the lift door opened. Alice wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me out of the lift while Emmett held onto my shoulder.
“Ok mate on the count of three remove the blindfold.” Emmett said patting me on the shoulder as
Alice released my arm and they both walked away.
“One” Alice yelled “Two” Emmett yelled as I reached up to pull the blindfold off. “Three, Surprise!” They yelled together as I removed the blindfold to see a room full of people and a banner that read 'Happy 23rd Birthday Edward!' The music started up and I looked around the room full of my friends with the biggest smile on my face. I turned around to see Alice, Jasper and Emmett standing off to the side talking to Riley and Bree.
“Alice, Em, Jazz, this is bloody ridiculous I can't believe you guys did this.” I said pulling the three of them into a group hug. “Not to mention the fact you managed to keep it a secret.”
“Well my darling son, they had a little help. Happy early Birthday Edward.”
Edward turned around to see Esme wearing a sleeveless tan and gold gown walking towards him and pulling him into a hug. “I heard what happened with Aro earlier, don't worry no one is going to force a son of mine to marry anyone he doesn't want to.” She whispered before letting go of her embrace and stepping back.
“Your Majesty, it's so wonderful to see you again.” Bree said bowing down to my mother with Riley.
No matter how long I live, I'll never get use to the way people react to my mother. To me she's just mum to everyone else in the United Kingdom she's Queen Esme Elizabeth Anne Platt Evenson Cullen. Guess I should bloody well get use to it cause eventually I'll be king and everyone will treat me the same way.
“Riley, Bree there is no need to be so formal; I have known both of you since you were in diapers, feel free to just call me Esme.” She said signally for them to stop bowing.
“Yes your grace… I mean Esme.” Riley said looking extremely awkward.
Several guest came up to personally wish me a happy early birthday, and let me know that they either left my present on the table up front or made a donation towards a charity in my name. I had just finished posing for pictures with the umpteenth socialite when the music stopped playing.
“Ladies and Gentleman, I've been informed we have a big surprise for Prince Edward this evening.” The DJ said as a huge multilayered fake cake was wheeled out from the back.
“When did you order strippers?” Alice and Emmett said at the same time to each other before looking at Jasper. “Don't look at me; I had nothing to do with that.” Jasper said shrugging.
“Will everyone please turn their attention to the cake, and we'll get this surprise started.” The DJ said as everyone made his or her way to the cake.
I saw Alec standing in the corner talking into his wrist eying my mother protectively. Clearly, whoever was inside of this cake was a surprise to everyone. It did not take long for more of our security detail to come out of the shadows preparing for anything.
There was a drum roll and everyone in the room became silent. As the drum roll started to wind down, the top of the cake popped open and out popped Tanya, of all people.
“Fuck me.” I whispered to myself
“Surprise, baby.” Tanya said as she popped out of the cake wearing this partially see threw black mini dress.
“Security!” Emmett yelled as the security detail moved in towards Tanya as she tried to climb out of the cake.
I walked over towards the cake, getting there before Alec, and grabbed Tanya by the waist standing her on the floor in front of me.
“I'll handle it Alec, stand down.” I said through gritted teeth. Tanya was the last person I wanted to see tonight after what her father tried to pull earlier today. “Tanya what fuck are you doing, you don‟t fancy a trip to jail do you?
“No, but your sister was fanning around with my invitation and I am assuming it was lost in the mail. But I knew you'd want to see me on your special night so I came anyway.” Tanya said stepping closer to me and trying to pull me into a kiss as flashes from camera phones flickered.
“Are you mad? My mother, your Queen, is here how dare you disrespect her like this? Go wait for me in the back and I'll deal with you after I clean up this mess.” I whispered grabbing her hand before her lips could make contact and putting some space between us. “Now smile and pretend everything is ok, and go and wait for me in the back.” I said smiling at all the guests that were still focused on us with their phones out.
I let go of her wrist ran my hands threw my hair and walked back over to my family.
“Mother I am so sorry about that, she shouldn't have done that.” I said looking at my mother's stunned face.
“Edward please, you cannot hold yourself responsible for her gallivanting around town and jumping out of cakes. However, if this is who Aro thinks should be the future Queen of this monarch he has another thing coming. Anyway, I just wanted to stop by before I headed out of town, I hope you enjoy the rest of your night. Oh and your father wanted me to tell you we'll be back from Monaco Tuesday so he'll see you before you leave.” She said looking from the cake to me. “Will you three attempt to stay out of the press while I am away?” She said mainly to Emmett and me.
“Well mum I can't make any promises but we'll try our best.” Emmett said with a laugh wrapping his arm around my shoulders.
“Good night sweethearts, I love you all.” She said hugging Alice, Emmett and I and giving Jasper a kiss on the cheek before walking towards Alec and into the waiting lift with her security detail.
“Well take a gander around mates, everyone is here from Posh and Becks to Adele and Tanya decided to drop a clanger tonight. Someone needs to get this party started.” Emmett said walking towards the DJ booth.
Alice looked from Jasper to me clearly worried about what Emmett was about to do. Emmett had the DJ stop the music and grabbed the microphone.
"Evening everyone, tonight has been eventful but when you come to a royal party do you expect anything less? The Queen has officially left the building so let's get pissed and have a bloody good time yeah? First, I want to give a toast to the birthday boy. Cheers, to my little big brother, who's not just my future king but my best mate. So big bro, you're another year older, not quite wiser, and have yet to go bald, so cheers!” Emmett said with a laugh as he grabbed two glasses of champagne from the waiter in front of him and downed both glasses.
I turned around to ask Alice about Tanya being invited, when she beat me to it, as usual. “Edward, honestly I didn't invite Tanya and I told security not to let her in. I have no idea how she still managed to get in here.” Alice said looking around anxiously
“Alice it's ok, Tanya loves pissing around me for some reason, and now her father thinks he can force me to marry her. But we're Cullen's and nobody fucks with us and gets away with it.” I said pulling her into a quick hug. “Jasper show my sister a good time tonight, not too good of a time though.” I said cocking an eyebrow at him, Alice may be 20 but she's still my little sister.
It wasn't until that moment as I stood there looking at Alice and Jasper together that I noticed they were matching. Alice had on a one shoulder ruffled lilac coloured dress and Jasper was wearing a similar coloured oxford button down shirt, sweater and tie.
“Wow Jasper, did she pick out you boxers too? Is your manhood still intact or is she keeping your balls in her purse?” I asked with a cocked eyebrow trying to contain my laughter.
“Shut up Edward, no one dressed by me ever looks like an idiot, you should know…” Alice interjected looking from my shoes to my face with a smirk.
“Holy hell, Alice I was just joking no need to get worked up yeah.” I said between laughs because a feisty Alice was always priceless. “Anyway I'll go deal with Tanya, I'll be back.” I said looking back the way Tanya went.
I walked over to the bar to get something to help calm me down before I completely flipped out on Tanya for ruining my party. I downed a tequila shot before I ordered a Moscow Mule heavy on the vodka from the bartender and turned around in time to see Emmett on the dance floor dancing with four girls at the same time. At least someone was enjoying the party; I grabbed my drink taking a sip as the vodka burned its way down my throat. I could feel the warmth spreading
throughout my body as I took a second sip and headed towards the backroom door.
I arrived at the door and signed to one of the guards not to let anyone else come in. I opened the door and walked down the hall and found Tanya sitting on the couch outside of the women's loo talking with her friends Carmen and Kat.
I cleared my throat to get their attention I downed the rest of my drink and then set the cup down on the little table. “I don't recall requesting an audience but I have to say I don't mind.” I said loosening my tie and cocking an eyebrow at the three of them. “Katrina, Carmen as always it's a pleasure to see both of you.” I said placing a chaste kiss on their hands.
Katrina was probably the only girl in our inner circle besides Bree that I haven't had and I was open for the challenge of finally getting her to spread her legs for me. Carmen on the other hand has had more cock inside of her than all the prostitutes at some of the best brothels. I'll never understand why Kat even hangs out with these other two whores, she must be a secret freak or something.
“Your Highness, it's always a pleasure to be in your company as well.” Kat said pulling me out of my fantasy of bending her over the side of this couch pounding her arse hard while pulling slightly on her blonde hair. “Would you mind giving Tanya and I some privacy, fill free to stay and enjoy the party it's open bar all night.” I said giving Kat my most charming smile, before turning it to Carmen who clearly wasn‟t buying it. So I threw in a wink as I ran my hands threw my hair. “Carmen you don't mind do you?”
Carmen looked from me to the eager expression on Tanya's face before shrugging. She ran her hands threw her wavy hair before it fell perfectly back in place and stood up. “You know Edward if you weren't royalty your little games wouldn't work. How much pussy would you get as plain old Edward Cullen?” Carmen said walking towards the hallway.
“Poor naïve Carmen, is it my fault you thought giving me your goods before ever going on a date would get you a tiara? Apparently, no one taught you that guys fuck the bad girls and marry the good ones. Nevertheless, as always have a pleasant evening, who knows maybe Emmett is drunk enough to want you.” I said giving her my best fuck you smile.
“Bloody hell Edward must you always be an arse.” Carmen said stomping up the hall with Kat following behind her.
I turned to look at Tanya with that stupid arse grin on her face. Obviously, she thought she was winning some sort of prize. “You thought that was funny yeah?” I said walking up to her and grabbing her by the waist.
Tanya looked up at me threw her eyelashes and for a moment as I was staring into her blue eyes I thought maybe I could force myself to be happy with her. Luckily, the thought left me as quick as it came; Tanya was fine in the beginning. I honestly thought she liked me for me when we met in secondary school. Little did I know she was chasing a title and only saw me as a means of becoming royalty.
“Edward I've missed you, you don't accept my calls, the guards at your house will never let me in and then I don‟t get an invite to your party. What's a girl to think being treated that way?” Tanya said wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into a kiss.
“Well Tanya, most women with enough self esteem and respect would take that as a sign that the an doesn't want them. But alas here you are, throwing yourself at me again.” I said as my dick started to get hard with anticipation of getting inside a pussy tonight.
Tanya reached in between our bodies and felt the now massive erection I couldn't hide if I wanted to. She stroked the erection through my pants and as I let out a slight moan.
“Stop lying to yourself Edward, we both know you want me so stop playing hard to get.” Tanya said trying to unzip my pants.
I grabbed her hand moving it away from my crotch, which did not make my dick happy. I ran my free hand up her thigh stopping over her thong. I ran two fingers along the outline of her pussy before I turned her around grinding her arse against my erection. I ran my nose along her color bone working my way up her neck. I stopped at her earlobe before placing a small kiss behind her ear.
“You're such a tease.” She moaned.
“And you're a dirty whore, who's going to pay for embarrassing me in front of my friends and family.” I said before cupping her pussy in my hands and sliding her thong out of the way.
I shoved two fingers inside of her as she shivered from the penetration before letting out a moan. “Oh yes, just like that.” She whispered in between moans. “Faster..faster…” she begged.
“That's right beg for it, tell me what you want.” I said grabbing a fist full of hair with my free hand and kissing along her neck.
“I want you to fuck me; I want your cock in me bad.” She replied.
“How bad do you want it?” I said with a wicked smile knowing I had her right where I wanted her.
“I'll do anything you want.” She moaned.
“Oh really, anything yeah?” I said twisting my fingers inside her tickling her G spot.
I pushed her down to her knees, reached down unzipped my pants and pulled my dick out.
“Show me how bad you want me I said as the head of my dick brushed along her bottom lip. She
licked her lips before sucking the head of my dick into her mouth. I ran my hands threw her blonde hair as she sucked further down my shaft.
She sucked her way back up the shaft and started fast hard strokes as she sucked on the head like a lollipop, before sucking as much of my cock into her mouth as she could. I felt like she was
teasing me so I grabbed the back of her head and forced myself in more until I could feel the back of her throat with my head.
“You know I really don't think you've learned your lesson. Do you think you've learned your lesson?” I asked with my most seductive smile.
She looked up at me with my dick still in her mouth and mumbled something, I didn't give a fuck what she said all I knew was the vibrations on my dick felt so good.
“I want you so fucking bad Edward, please make love to me.” She said tickling my balls with one hand and stroking my dick with the other.
I reached in my pocket for my wallet. I grabbed the condom I put in it before leaving home, ripped it open with my teeth and slid it on with one hand, which took skill, but I had lots of practice over the years. I helped Tanya to her feet turning her around not wanting to look at her face any longer and bent her over the arm of the couch. I pulled what she considered a dress the rest of the way up exposing her bare arse and pulled down her thong. I rubbed my fingers along her clit and the mouth of her pussy giving her a little tease before thrusting inside of her.
We fell into our usual rhythm as I pounded deeper inside of her, her bracelets jingling with the rapid movement of her body. She learned back into my dick moving her arms up so she could run her hand threw my hair before pulling on it.
“Oh fuck you know what that does to me.” I said as I used one hand to massage her nipples and the other to massage her clit.
“Baby you know I am the only one that can give you what you need.” She moaned kissing me on the neck as her body started to tense up and her breathing deepened.
I pushed her back down so I could pound deeper into her hitting her spot just right. “Apologize to me for almost ruining my party.” I moaned grabbing her by the shoulders forcing her back onto my erection taking no mercy as I pounded her pussy hard. If I were trying to impregnate her she‟d be having triplets by now. She let out a low moan that could have been mistaken for a growl.
“I said fucking apologize” The way her arse was jiggling, I couldn‟t help but smack it one good time which forced a loud moan out of her. “That didn't quite sound like an apology.” I said spanking her again.
I felt her body tense up and her pussy constricting around my dick as she reached her climax. “Oh fuckity fuck, fuck I am so sorry Edward.”
I grabbed her by the hips and kept the motion going as I neared my own climax. “I am sorry I didn't hear you, you're what?”
“I am sorry… ooohhhh God I am sorry that I embarrassed you at your parrrrrrrrtttyy.” She yelled as her knees started to buckle and she fell flat against her stomach as I built her climax up and we came together. I quickly pulled out of her smacking her ass one last time as I pulled the condom off, walked into the loo, and flushed it. I don‟t have time for any illegitimate bastards running around.
I walked out of the loo and saw Tanya pulling her thong up, clearly I hit her spot just right because she could barely stand up straight.
“That was just smashing, babe. I can't wait for us to get married so we can make love every night.” She said with this bright arse smile on her face.
“Where in bloody hell did you hear that?” I snapped unable to control myself. “I never said I was planning to marry you Tanya, you're just a convenient fuck.”
“Well daddy called me up today and told me that you were considering proposing to me since you have to be married by your 25th birthday.” She said sitting down on the couch and crossing her legs. “I mean it's no secret that we‟ve been seeing each other we've been all over the tabs for years.”
“Being associated with you and marrying you are two very different things. Your father was mistaken, if and or when I get married it'll be to someone of my choosing not Aro's. You can let him know I said so in case he didn't get my message earlier.” I said smacking her thigh before turning to leave grabbing the empty cup off the table. “Oh and Tanya, next time you embarrass me or my family again, the punishment won't be this pleasant.” I said before walking through the door and back to my party.
I made my way through the crowd towards the bar; I can‟t believe Aro and Tanya really think they can weasel their way into my family by using that outdated law against me, and I keep making the situation worse thinking with the wrong head every time I am around Tanya. I asked the bartender for two tequila shots and to keep them coming.
“Edward I can't believe after everything that happened today you'd stoop so low and fuck her at your birthday party.” Alice said popping up out of nowhere, she was like an annoying psychic fairy.
“Alice I know, I don't need you to tell me what a colossal fuck up I am, I get it.” I said downing the first shot.
“What are you going to do go on a binder and hope the problem goes away? You're being irresponsible Edward and this is not how a future king should be behaving, pull yourself together you're better than this.” She said with her hands on her hips as she downed my second tequila shot. “Edward I know you're feeling backed in a corner, but I know that after our holiday in Jamaica for your birthday you'll see that everything will be ok.” She said putting the shot glass down rubbing my forearm and walking away.
I grabbed another shot off the bar and turned to look at my friends and family having a good time, life is so easy for them without the pressure and responsibility of being heir to the throne. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I abdicated and let Emmett feel the pressure of everything in his life being controlled by other people, bet his arse wouldn't think life's a big party then.
I downed the shot before heading towards the lift, I sent Caius a message letting him know that I
was at 'Club Oh' on Irving St and needed a ride back to the palace. I rode the lift back down to the first floor of the club and waited for Caius to arrive. I was sending Alice a quick text letting her know that I was heading back home and that I'd see her in the morning. When I saw the all black Maybach 57 turn at the corner and walked outside as it made its way down the street. As I stood alone on the curb finishing my message to Alice a swarm of paparazzi appeared and I was blinded by about 20 flashes from cameras.
“Prince Edward, Prince Edward, are the rumours true that you're marrying Tanya Voltera?” One
yelled as he ran down the sidewalk holding a camcorder.
“Prince Edward, is it true that you and your siblings are planning a secret holiday to the Caribbean for next week?” Another yelled
“Guys come on I am just trying to enjoy my evening, no comment.” I said holding my hand up to block the flashes from my eyes.
Apparently Caius had called inside to alert the other guards of what was going on because the next thing I knew three royal guardsmen came rushing out of the club creating a wall between me and the photogs.
“Step back or you‟ll be arrested for harassing the Crown Prince.” I heard one of the guards yell as Caius opened the door of the car and I got in. Caius got into the driver's seat and drove away, as my phone started to ring. I looked down and saw Aro Voltera flashing across the screen. Maybe two weeks in Jamaica away from this mess will help me get my shit together. I sat in the backseat lost in my thoughts as we drove through London making our way back to the palace. What could be better than two weeks as just Edward Cullen, no special treatment, no paparazzi, and no responsibility I can't wait to board that jet to freedom.
Please leave comments and let us know what you think! We love feedback!